My almost hilarious, almost juicy, almost retired pants.

Ring, gift; Necklace, gift; Cardigan, Shoulder; Tank, lululemon athletica; Pants, Suzy Shier; Seasonally inappropriate peep toe platforms, Schutz.

My pants are made of velvet. Navy velvet. They are almost hilarious pants. I’m not sure what it is about velvet pants, apparently they makes me chuckle, like I am one small step away from wearing a pair of Juicy Couture sweat pants, “JUICY” emblazoned across my ass. And while these words have gotten me into trouble in the past, I must admit, velvet pants are so comfortable. And warm, much warmer than I expected. So warm in fact, that I was able to wear my seasonally inappropriate peep toe platforms!

I wore these pants on the plane returning from Ottawa. They wound up costing me $15.00, and for almost hilarious pants, $15.00 is the perfect cost. Of course, when the zipper broke in the tiny airplane bathroom when I was somewhere over a great lake, I cursed the same $15.00 price tag that I’d previously celebrated. I spent what felt like an hour attempting to wrangle the zipper closed, until finally, I conceded defeat. The zipper had won this round. The second I left the bathroom, grateful that I’d decided to wear an extra long tank top that covered the wide open window to my Hanky Pankys, I also realized that my struggles with the zipper had left me red-faced and sweaty, hair all mussed up, tugging manically at the hem of my tank top.

I’m not really sure what the rest of the plane thought was going on in there, but I’ll bet that if I’d gone back in a few minutes after I left that airplane bathroom would have been my own private powder room for the rest of the flight.

Thankfully, once I took the pants off, I was able to zipper wrangle successfully, and the $15.00 almost-hilarious pants were saved. Rejoice!


8 thoughts on “My almost hilarious, almost juicy, almost retired pants.

  1. I would seriously pay good money for cute velvet pants like those. I think velvet if only ghetto-fabulous when it’s got gold, words, glitter, or other bling associated with it.

    Plus everyone has clothes they wear for the lulz, anyway.

    • There is a serious lack of bling on these particular pants… I should add some rhinestones or bedazzle part of them, just to increase the lol-factor.

      I think I’m going to have to create an entire outfit of lol-worthy clothes. Or at least attempt to create an outfit that doesn’t look absolutely ridiculous.

  2. I now own velvet leggings, and I feel similarly about them–intense love with a side of “what the hey am I wearing?” Yours, however, are utterly adorable. And I salute you for wearing those awesome shoes in the snow!

  3. Ooooo, knowing that they are surprisingly warm makes velvet pants seem suddenly more desirable than ever possible. It’s been really chilly here lately. 😦

    Love your new haircut! It’s adorable. 🙂

    • It makes the pants infinitely more awesome… And, because they are basically glorified sweat pants, they’re incredibly comfortable. Just awesome.

      And thank you so much! I’m still getting used to it, but I’m going to have it for a while, so I’m just going to have to wait out this period of weirdness, lol.

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